Down But Not Out

If I continue to wait until I have something important to share, I suspect I’ll never post again! Or if I continue to wait until I feel I have time to write, I certainly will never post again. So I’m here this morning to share the pleasure of sitting in my cottage, autumn sun and crispness flowing in through the screen door as I look out at an unfamiliar view. My property, but seen from an entirely different angle than the one I’m familiar with. A much curtailed view, that lets me concentrate on such small details as a moth fluttering around my dying tomato plants in their giant tubs.

My days, these days, are similarly curtailed – and seem focused on minutia of work, of a much-to-slow recovery from illness, of preparation of this cottage for what may be a rather harsh winter.

Were it not for being so weak, I wouldn’t mind the forced slow-down. When strength is limited, one must become much more selective about where one’s energies are directed.

I do wish I were better able to maintain this careful attention to what matters most when my energies are at their best!

Each time I’m brought to a near standstill by a health “crash”, I promise myself I’ll be a better steward of my attention going forward. Can I say I’m getting more competent because the gaps between crashes have lengthened significantly? The last one was three or more years ago. And the last one as severe as the present one was at least eight years ago.

Hmmm. I think I just acknowledged that I have, in the past nine months, became so forgetful of being in the present that I had to be brought way back to basics. OK, I get it. What felt like being so busy living that there wasn’t time to reflect, was really being too caught up with transitory events to pay attention to the things that matter most.

So here I am, grateful that I’ve been forced to slow down drastically, grateful that I’m not totally immobilized, grateful for the beautiful day and the silence and the moth.

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One Response to “Down But Not Out”

  1. Cheryl @ Artzzle Says:

    So happy to hear from you again … but what is this illness all about? Please be careful of the entrovirus or cautious around foreign travelers. Have to be mindful of so many things today. Hope you are back to 100% soon.

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